Books Read In 2013

Here's 2013's complete reading list. Down a little from last year's 94. But I've been writing a bit more and I've gotten more short stories accepted/published (up to 7 now, I think). So that's good. My goal is to write even more this year.



1. The Last Final Girl by Stephen Graham Jones
2. Adolf In Wonderland by Carlton Mellick III
3. Jacked by Shane McKenzie
4. Cuddly Holocaust by Carlton Mellick III
5. Hammer Wives by Carlton Mellick III
6. Live Specimens by Kelli Owen
7. A Town Called Suckhole by David W. Barbee
8. Fangoria #320
9. She Makes Me Smile/This Only Happens In The Movies by Mandy DeGeit
10. Drawn & Quartered by Shane McKenzie
11. Prelude To Space Rape by Jordan Krall
12. Body Dome Light And Other Psychedelic Settings by Jordan Krall
13. House Of Fallen Trees by Gina Ranalli
14. Transformers: Exodus by Alex Irvine
15. Fangoria #321
16. The Pickled Apocalypse Of Pancake Island by Cameron Pierce
17. Carrie by Stephen King
18. Abortion Arcade by Cameron Pierce
19. The Shining by Stephen King
20. Muerte Con Carne by Shane McKenzie
21. Chick Bassist by Ross E. Lockhart
22. Angeldust Apocalypse by Jeremy Robert Johnson
23. Tribesmen by Adam Cesare
23. Fangoria #322
24. Video Night by Adam Cesare
25. The Long Hard Road Out Of Hell by Marilyn Manson with Neil Strauss
26. Village Of The Mermaids by Carlton Mellick III
27. The Devil's Notebook by Anton Szandor LaVey
28. The Lords Of Salem by Rob Zombie with B.K. Evenson
29. Shatnerquest by Jeff Burk
30. Satan Speaks! by Anton Szandor LaVey
31. Operator B by Edward Lee
32. The Stickmen by Edward Lee
33. I Travel By Night by Robert McCammon
34. Flesh Gothic by Edward Lee
35. Fangoria #323
36. Life After Death by Damien Echols
37. False Magic Kingdom by Jordan Krall
38. Bad Alchemy by Jordan Krall
39. The Gog And Magog Business by Jordan Krall
40. Your Cities, Your Tombs by Jordan Krall
41. Tank Girl Volume 1 by Hewlett & Martin
42. Tank Girl Volume 2 by Hewlett & Martin
43. Tank Girl Volume 3 by Hewlett & Martin
44. A Game Of Thrones by George R.R. Martin
45. Fangoria #324
46. A Clash Of Kings by George R.R. Martin
47. Pages Torn From A Travel Journal by Edward Lee
48. The Space Vampires by Colin Wilson
49. The Satanic Scriptures by Peter H. Gilmore
50. The Last Porno Theater by Nick Cato
51. Cannibal Fat Camp by Mark Scioneaux and David C. Hayes
52. The Late Night Horror Show by Bryan Smith
53. Quicksand House by Carlton Mellick III
54. Fangoria #325
55. Silent Weapons For Quiet Wars by Cody Goodfellow
56. Vampire Guts In Nuke Town by Kevin Strange
57. Strange Versus Lovecraft: A Strange Anthology edited by Kevin Strange
58. Joyland by Stephen King
59. Suicide In Brooklyn by S.T. Joshi
60. The Assaults Of Chaos by S.T. Joshi
61. Fangoria #326
62. Nightmares From A Lovecraftian Mind by Jordan Krall
63. Black Tongues Of The Illuminati by Alex S. Johnson
64. A Choir Of Beasts by Nicole Cushing
65. McHumans by Kevin Strange
66. The Best Of Joe R. Lansdale by Joe R. Lansdale
67. Son Of A Bitch by Wrath James White and Andre Duza
68. The Rising by Brian Keene
69. City Of The Dead by Brian Keene
70. Fangoria #327
71. Clusterfuck by Carlton Mellick III
72. Dark Bits edited by Jacob Haddon
73. Fat Off Sex And Violence by Shane McKenzie
74. Death Machines Of Death by Vince Kramer
75. The Last Gig On Planet Earth And Other Strange Stories by Kevin Strange
76. The Pig/The House by Edward Lee
77. Season Of The New World Order by Randy Cunningham
78. Pop Illuminati: Volume 1 by Randy Cunningham
79. Header 2 by Edward Lee
80. Coreyography by Corey Feldman
81. Fangoria #328
82. You Are My Everything by Edward Lee
83. Night In The Lonesome October by Richard Laymon
84. Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card
85. The Splatter House Rules by Jeff O'Brien
86. A Very Strangehouse Christmas edited by Kevin Strange
87. Devil Rain by Jeff O'Brien
88. Fangoria #329

Books Read In 2012

Here's a list of everything I read this year. I've included novels, novellas, and graphic novels (and Fangoria). Quite a full year of reading. Also, quite a year of GOOD reading. This year, I plan to read somewhat less and write drastically more. 2012 saw the publication of my first piece of fiction (another piece was supposed to be published this year. The release date has been pushed back and I have no clue what the status of the publication is at this time). I hope to have a few more publishing credits to add for 2013.

1. The Hunter From The Woods by Robert McCammon

2. Armadillo Fists by Carlton Mellick III

3. Suicide Girls In The Afterlife by Gina Ranalli

4. Beyond The Valley Of The Apocalypse Donkeys by Jordan Krall

5. Shark Hunting In Paradise Garden by Cameron Pierce

6. Houdini Gut Punch edited and compiled by Jonathan Moon

7. Carnageland by David W. Barbee

8. Unearthed by Gina Ranalli

9. Lost In Cat Brain Land by Cameron Pierce

10. Fangoria #310

11. Attic Clowns by Jeremy C. Shipp

12. John Dies At The End by David Wong
13. Who Goes There? by John W. Campbell
14. Teatro Grottesco by Thomas Ligotti
15. Fangoria #311
16. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Change Is Constant Vol. 1
17. The Hollower by Mary SanGiovanni
18. Skull Cathedral by Tim Waggoner
19. Rumors Of My Death by Gina Ranalli
20. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
21. Fangoria #312
22. A Game Of Thrones by George R.R. Martin
23. Genital Grinder by Ryan Harding
24. Clickers Vs. Zombies by J.F. Gonzalez and Brian Keene
25. Mother Puncher by Gina Ranalli
26. Like Porno For Psychos by Wrath James White
27. Tentacle Death Trip by Jordan Krall
28. Black Bubbles by Kelli Owen
29. The Handsome Squirm by Carlton Mellick III
30. The Wind Through The Keyhole by Stephen King
31. Fangoria #313
32. Red World by Carlton Mellick III
33. The Cabin In The Woods by Tim Lebbon
34. The Traveling Dildo Salesman by Kevin L. Donihe
35. Fangoria #314
36. Kayla And The Devil by Bryan Smith
37. Shut Up And Give Me The Mic: A Twisted Memoir by Dee Snider
38. Ugly Heaven by Carlton Mellick III
39. All You Can Eat by Shane McKenzie
40. Squid Pulp Blues by Jordan Krall
41. Where The Summer Ends: The Best Horror Stories Of Karl Edward Wagner Volume One
42. Strange Sex: A Strange Anthology (Stories compiled by Kevin Strange and D.F. Noble)
43. The Planet Backwards Plays One Last Gig by Kevin Strange
44. Fangoria #315
45. White Picket Prisons by Kelli Owen
46. Gathered Dust And Others by W.H. Pugmire
47. Steel Breakfast Era by Carlton Mellick III
48. Razor Wire Pubic Hair by Carlton Mellick III
49. Scary Fucking Stories by D.F. Noble
50. Fishy-Fleshed by Carlton Mellick III
51. This Dark Earth by John Horner Jacobs
52. 11/22/63 by Stephen King
53. Fangoria #316
54. His Pain by Wrath James White
55. Messenger by Edward Lee
56. Tumor Fruit by Carlton Mellick III
57. Sundancing by Brian Keene
58. Earthworm Gods II: Deluge by Brian Keene
59. Quick Fix: A Taste Of Terror by Lindsay Beth Goddard
60. Answers Of Silence by Geoff Cooper
61. Space Walrus by Kevin L. Donihe
62. Beer Run Of The Dead by D.F. Noble
63. Fangoria #317
64. Back From The Dead by J.F. Gonzalez
65. Chariots Of The Gods by Erich von Daniken
66. Creatures: Thirty Years Of Monsters edited by John Langan and Paul Tremblay
67. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
68. Dracula by Bram Stoker
69. Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson
70. A Quick Bite Of Flesh: An Anthology Of Zombie Flash Fiction edited by Robert Helmbrecht
71. Dark Delicacies edited by Del Howison and Jeff Gelb
72. The Bighead by Edward Lee
73. City Infernal by Edward Lee
74. Fangoria #318
75. The Walking Dead Vol. 15 by Robert Kirkman
76. The Walking Dead Vol. 16 by Robert Kirkman
77. The Crow by James O'Barr
78. Shatnerquake by Jeff Burk
79. The Damned Highway by Brian Keene and Nick Mamatas
80. Robamapocalypse by Kevin Strange
81. Help! A Bear Is Eating Me! by Mykle Hansen
82. Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy by Bradley Sands
83. Deadweight by Robert Devereaux
84. We Live Inside You by Jeremy Robert Johnson
85. The Cannibal's Guide To Ethical Living by Mykle Hansen
86. Unicorn Battle Squad by Kirsten Alene
87. Zombie! Zombie! Brain Bang! edited by Nicholas Day
88. The Walking Dead Vol. 17 by Robert Kirkman
89. Penetralia by Jordan Krall
90. Extinction Journals by Jeremy Robert Johnson
91. The Providence Rider by Robert McCammon
92. Header by Edward Lee
93. The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
94. Fangoria #319

Q&A!!!

Alright folks, the wait is over! Thanks to everyone who sent in questions. Hope I didn't omit any...


You asked, I answered:




Are you going to sue Warner Brothers for stealing your life story in the film Magic Mike?

As a matter of fact, I am. Those bastards stole my life from me and didn't even offer me a Happy Meal as payment!


How long have you been writing and who's writing inspires you the most?


I've been writing since I was very young. I can pinpoint the writer who inspired me to seriously try my hand at writing: Robert R. McCammon.


What do you have in the works at the moment?


Currently I've got maybe half a dozen short stories in the works and a novella in progress. All are in various stages of completion.


If you were a porn star, what would your name be?


Buster Sassafras.


What 3 films have inspired you the most (both in life and creatively)?


Wow, tough question. Everyone who knows me knows that I'm a film nut. I guess some of the earliest films I can remember seeing that wowed me were The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Alien, and Halloween. They set me on a life-long love affair of all things horror.


What movie have you seen the most? How many times do you estimate you've seen it?


Another tough question! I can't say definitely but I know that I watched the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film, Wayne's World, Predator, Alien, Aliens, and The Crow A LOT when I was a teenager. Like every day.


What is your ultimate goal as a writer? To put it another way, what would be your dream job....writing a novel? Screenplay?


Honestly, my ultimate goal is to become a full-time author. Not an easy task. As far as screenplays go...I've dabbled with the idea a few times but to me it's too dry. I just can't get into it as much as writing full-fledged stories. If that makes any sense.


Have you written anything that you are extraordinarily proud of?


Yes, there are a few things that I look back at and think, "Wow, that's pretty damned good." But, if I had to pick one thing that I'm most proud of it would have to be the novel I began in sixth grade and finished in ninth grade. It's a derivitive pile of garbage for the most part but I'm still very proud that I hand-wrote an almost 400 page novel when I was so young.


What genre is your specialty? Horror? Bizarro? Sci-Fi?


Horror. Definitely horror. I have a few Bizarro stories I've worked on but they aren't bizarre enough to be true Bizarro. To me, it's the hardest genre to tackle. As for Sci-Fi, I haven't written anything like that in a very long time, and even then there were heavy horror elements involved.


If you could go back in time and change something in your past that would benefit your career today, what would it be?


That's an easy one. Finish college. That's one of my biggest regrets in life.


Is there any movie/book that you have seen that has changed your outlook on life? Why? 
What inspired/inspires you to write?


I think movies and books have played a very important role in shaping me into the person I am today. It's not possible for me to choose single examples that have changed my outlook on life but I know that there have been many of both that have molded me. As far as what inspires me to write, I enjoy it. Always have. I can give you a specific example of what sparked a story I've been working on today: I'm in Ocean City, MD right now and as I was looking out over the ocean from my hotel room balcony, inspiration struck. It just happens. I never know when, where or why.


Where do some of your ideas for your stories come from? Do they come from things you see everyday? Do they come to you in a dream?


All over the place (see above answer). Honestly, very few of my ideas come from dreams. I can only think of a handful of times where the seeds for a story were planted in dream form.


Who is your favorite musical artist and why? What musical artist has inspired you and how?


I'm a huge music lover so it's impossible to pick a favorite. I don't really get "inspired" by music. Nor do different types of music have any influence on what I'm writing.


If you could meet anyone who would it be and why? If you were only allowed to ask them one thing what would it be and why?


So many choices! I'd love to be able to hang with H.P. Lovecraft. Why, you ask? Because he was fucking awesome! I would ask him a two word question, "Marry me?"


If the little drummer boy played his drum for you, what would he play?


Nothing. He'd be dead before the first beat of his drum. (For those who don't know I DESPISE that song.)


Would you trust me to make pancakes for you if I told you I had a "secret" recipe for the batter?


I love pancakes! Bring 'em on!


What writer(s), director(s), and star would you like to make the inevitable Gorebeast biopic?


Writer: Joss Whedon
Director: Quentin Tarantino
Star: Seth Green


 If you could have one superpower, what would it be and why...? Follow-up question, what's your superhero name?


The ability to suck all of the air out of a room, thus incapacitating villains in my vicinity. Name? Oh, I don't know...Suckjob?


Who would win in a fight: Cap'n Crunch, or Captain Morgan?


Captain Morgan wins every time. He's a dirty fighter. No foe can withstand his ability to bring on a dihabilitating hangover.


If you could rename intenstines to be anything else, what would it be?


Shit tubes.


What is your favorite Pop-Tart flavor? "I don't like Pop-Tarts" or any variation thereof is not an acceptable answer, but I will accept "I prefer toaster strudels."


Honestly, I like pretty much any flavor of Pop-Tarts. Though I am pretty fond of toaster strudels...


List your top five species of aquatic mammal.


1. Aquaman
2. Poseidon
3. Dolphin
4. Orca: The Killer Whale
5. Mermaid


What is your preferred brand of toilet paper? How did you come to this conclusion?


Charmin. I came to this conclusion by shitting a lot.


What would do if a zombie apocalypse happened and what's your weapon of choice?


Hide out at my parents house. It's pretty secluded. Weapon of choice: some kind of long, edged weapon. Like a samarai sword or machete.

Cthulhu Mourns

Today is the 75th anniversary of H.P. Lovecraft's death. Those who know me are well aware of my love of his weird tales. I even named one of my damn cats after him. His works have stuck with me through the years, ever since I first discovered his writing in my teens. To me, his talent is unmatched. Some people like to complain about his style and characterizations but it is what it is. No one can deny his immense imagination. His work has influenced so many other artists, whether it be authors, filmmakers, painters, sculptors, musicians, etc. His presence can still be felt in today's world, throughout all forms of media. So, today, we celebrate the man who has made such a huge impact in the weird/science fiction/horror fields.

R.I.P. Howard Phillips Lovecraft.

Please share your thoughts and what Lovecraft means to you in the comments section below.

Here's a link to the original obituary. I think it's pretty neat to see this little piece of history: http://lovecraftzine.com/2012/03/15/h-p-lovecraft-august-20-1890-march-15-1937/

Strange Things Afoot

Things are moving pretty fast for me right now. So many things are going on that I can't really take time to step back and assess all of the things happening around me. I'm currently on vacation but have yet to really relax. I recently submitted my first piece of fiction for publication ever and got accepted. I've been using this high to push me to increase my writing output. So far, I've been fairly successful (though I'd like to write even more than I am currently doing). I'm still working six days a week which makes it hard to write as much as I'd like to. But I'm trying. I'd say my average daily output is around 500 words. This is not nearly enough to satisfy me but it's better than my previous output of around 500 words every six months or so. Having my new laptop has been a big help. I typically can bang out a couple hundred words at work while on breaks or lunch.

This morning has been pretty lazy so far. I played online for a bit, got a little writing in while blasting my usual eclectic mix of music, ate some Lucky Charms. All this and still Angel is sleeping on the bed next to me while I'm clicking away on the laptop's keys. We still have a lot of things to get done today once she decides to get up. She just got a new vehicle, a Chevy Equinox, yesterday and there's still a few things to square away with that today. Plus lots of cleaning and reorganizing needs to get done this week and I'd like to accomplish some of that today.

 Even though this morning would seem to be pretty relaxing by normal standards one has to take into account that last night I got into another confrontation with my increasingly hard-to-deal-with mother. This situation is weighing heavily on me. I don't know what to do. I tried to smooth things over even though she was the one who flew off the handle and is holding a grudge over something insubstantial. I went to her when she should have been the one to come to me and apologize. Apparently that was a bad idea. She has too much selfish pride and is completely incapable of getting off her high-horse. I've pretty much written her off. If she wants to swallow her pride and contact me then, well, we'll see. For now, I'm just going to concentrate on work, writing, and my new family (Angel and her two boys).

At least this weekend I have Monster Mania to look forward to in New Jersey. I'll get to hang out with some of my best friends who I don't get to see nearly enough, meet some awesome horror icons, and, hopefully, relax for a bit and forget the ongoing bullshit with my mom. Until then, I plan to get lots of cleaning, and lots of work on the six short stories I've currently got in the works, done.

The Dark Side

Today I have a very special blog for you fine folks.  My girlfriend, Angel, has decided to highjack my blog with a little personal piece she wrote between yesterday and today, entitled "The Dark Side".  I can't help but notice the (intentional?) use of a Star Wars reference in that title.  She really poured her heart into this one and it would be nice for her to get some feedback from you kooky kids.    Now, keep in mind, this is all her.  She wrote this from start to finish.  I did very little to polish it up for it's finished form.  I am very proud of her for doing this and for the bravery it took to actually let me post it in my blog for the world to see.  So, please, read on and enjoy:

The Dark Side

Everyone has a boogeyman.  The little voice in your head that makes you doubt yourself, constantly telling you that you’re no good at anything you do.  Well, you haven’t seen one like this until you have met mine. What you read may be disturbing to you.  You’re about to enter my world.  The way things are seen through my eyes. Crazy as it may seem to you, keep in mind a lot of this I don't have control over.  I'm still working on things.  I have a lot of major damage that was done to me, some of which I’ve never talked about before.  It's very hard for me to ask for help.  I mean, how do you ask for help by explaining that your self-conscience is telling you to do things to yourself?  That’s impossible without the other person thinking you’re insane and that you belong in a hospital.

Everyone that knows me knows I have serious self-confidence issues.  Most of it started when I was younger.  When I was in eighth grade there were two girls that wanted to kick my ass.  They used to call me a slut and a whore all the time.  They were always saying it in front of tons of people.  They were the popular girls in school so naturally I thought everyone was going to believe them.  This destroyed me.  As someone that was quiet and kept to myself, I never understood why they were doing this to me.  I had never had sex, so what they were saying wasn’t true.  I now know that it was because I wore skirts to school all the time.  Later, during my senior year in high school, my self-confidence suffered another heavy blow; my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend.  All I can say is that this left me alone, devastated, with no one to talk to.  I had just lost my boyfriend and best friend, all in one shot.  I don't recommend anyone letting their life revolve around just your best friend and your boyfriend.

When I was married I would sit and wonder, “I know you love me, but I don't understand why you hurt me by putting me down and making comments that make me look stupid.”  Then I’d think, “Well he loves me and we have been together for 10 years so it must be true.  Why else would he say things like that?”  It has happened to me again since then.  I think, “Well Ed (my ex-husband) has said that to me, too.  It must be true if he is saying the same thing.”  People at work have talked to me like I was stupid.  It’s funny how, when they can’t figure something out, they come and ask me for help.  So I must not be that stupid.

I know I have a dark side to myself that I like to go to.  I like to be alone, sitting in a dark room with no light.  Just complete darkness.  Sitting there with my pillow and some music playing.  As I lay there, I look back on everything that I have done wrong in my life. What can I do with my life?  I need to do something with my life.  Make something of myself. Do something so someone can look at me and be proud of me and the things I've done.  Not where everything in my life is a big screw up.  

I still have a lot of times where the bad side comes out.  My conscience still talks to me.  Every so often it tries to send me back to that place where I do bad things to myself.  It tells me that I'm a bad person.  That I don't deserve what I have.  That I'm just going to ruin Mike's life just like I did to Ed's.  I start to believe everything that it is telling me.  I don't know how to get it to stop. 

I was at the point where my answer was to overdose.  There was no way that I could fix any of it.  In my eyes I screwed up three people's lives.  I have two boys that were going to hate me because I broke up their family.  All because I felt like I didn't exist anymore.  One thing I swore would not happen to me was I would never be divorced.  I wouldn't let that happen to my kids.  I would never let them go through that.  Look where I am now.  I had to be a disappointment to my parents because of what I did.  How could I even show my face to anyone?  Everyone would be better off if I was gone.  I had it all planned out. 

Then I met Mike.  I didn’t really just meet Mike.  I have known him for at least 5 years.  I always felt some kind of weird connection with him.  I couldn't explain it.  When I decided to go off all my medication cold turkey, he stuck by me.  He told me that I didn't sound like I was in a good place.  One weekend, my family went away for a few days.  Mike said he didn't think it was safe for me to be home alone and convinced me to stay with him so that nothing would happen to me.  When I was going to get sick (from quitting my medications) he sat with me on the floor in the bathroom.  That meant so much to me, that someone would take the time to do that for me.  I don't know why he would do that for me or what his reason was for it.  


He had to have felt something.  He made it clear he didn’t want a relationship so I was ready to give up and go through with my self-destructive plans.  Except for one thing; he had told me that he loved me.  Something told me that no matter how he acts or treats me to continue to stick with it.  I've never really truly fought for something that I believed in.  I'm not one that believes in soulmates, that there is someone out there that you're really meant to be with.  Nonetheless, there was something there.  Something I have never felt before.  I knew that he had been hurt several times before.  I knew that he was just afraid of being attached to anyone because the pain that comes after.  I know all about disappointments.  I think that is why, for some reason, there was always some weird connection with us.  We have had a lot of the hurt and disappointments in past relationships.  I stuck with him, and eventually he come around. 

We do have a lot of fights and I get scared that I'm just screwing up everything I’ve gained.  This time I wouldn’t just be destroying me but it would destroy my boys as well.  They both have become very attached to him.  He has been the back up and the structure that both the boys and I have needed.  It has been very hard on him to have to adjust his life around his newfound family.  Going from being alone and having it quiet all the time, to having 2 boys in the house.  I can see his frustration. 

I have finally met someone that understands me and the things I’ve gone through.  He may not understand everything but he tries to understand the things that he doesn't.  I haven't figured out how he knows some of the things he does.  Most of the time he can figure me out without any problem at all.  It amazes me sometimes.  He knows when something is wrong before I even know.  How is that possible?

   
I know that at times he gets extremely frustrated with me.  I know it has to be very hard on him, dealing with someone in my extreme condition.  Making sure that I am taking my medication.  Making sure that it is being taken correctly.  Watching over me to make sure that I don't slip into the bad place that I was in once before.  I have nothing but appreciation for everything that Mike has done for me.  I'm sure it has put my parents more at ease, knowing that there is someone out there who loves their daughter enough to watch over her like she needs.  Someone that may not understand everything that I'm going though but sure as hell tries with all his heart to understand me.  

Now I'm in a better situation.  I found someone that I know loves me and my boys enough to invest so much of his time into making sure I'm taken care of.  He makes sure he is there to talk to me so I don't go over the edge.  I'm a much better person than I was, which is better for the two people who need me the most.  I'm lucky to still be alive today.  I hope that maybe I can give inspiration to someone else who is dealing with their own dark side.  


No one realizes how much you’re worth to them until you’re not around.  Yet sometimes I still wonder if I'm doing something wrong because more than one person has treated me that way.  I know that none of them know exactly what that does to me or how deeply it has scarred me.  All it does is feed the boogeyman, or the dark side of me.  Do I really come across as some stupid human being that is a waste of everyone's time?  Do I really deserve the negative things that people say and do to me?  Like I said in the beginning, I'm still working on things.  I know on this subject I should live by this quote: "So long as you are still worried about what others think of you, you are owned by them." -Neale Donald Walsch

No*Con

Last weekend Angel and I headed to Maryland for a much-needed weekend of friends and booze (otherwise known as No*Con).  We had an amazing time with friends both old and new.  There are too many people who made me laugh and/or gave me invaluable writing advice to name them all but, suffice to say, it was like taking a crash course in creative writing.  I was surrounded by people representing the full spectrum of published authors.  From the war-weary vets to the grunts fresh out of boot camp.  All of them had wisdom to impart on the subject of writing and the publishing industry.

But that's not the only thing gained from this past weekend.  I made quite a few new friends, many of whom I had at least talked to online at some point.  It was nice to finally meet them in person and make the connection from cyberspace to a real flesh-and-blood individual.  Some of them were not how I envisioned them in my head from communicating with them on Twitter or Facebook.  Which, I guess, is to be expected.  I also got to see old friends.  Old friends who I don't get to see nearly enough.  It sucks living so far from them all.  I wish I could spend way more time with them because they have a way of bringing out the best in me.

I could go on and on with funny stories and inside jokes that occurred at a rapid fire pace all weekend long.  I could do that.  Yet, I won't.  Those memories are for those who were there with me.  It's like a secret code between us when we make a reference to something from that weekend to one another.  It helps to keep a sacred bond between those of us who participated.

As an added bonus, we visited Edgar Allan Poe's grave.  This was an unexpected side trip that was revealed while we were all eating lunch at the Ale Wife in Baltimore.  It was weird seeing an old cemetery nestled between office buildings and the like.  It was definitely a cool experience because, as most of you know, I adore Poe.  There were also tombs.  Tombs, I say!  That was way cool.  I've never seen a tomb close up before and it was interesting.

My only regret is that I didn't read my flash fiction piece on Saturday night when everyone gathered to read their work.  I could have.  I SHOULD have.  But I didn't.  I wish I had so that I could get feedback from my friends and peers.  I mean, the story already got accepted to a publication and will be coming out sometime by the end of this year so it must not totally suck.  That's not to say that it's particularly good.  A handful of people have read it and said that it was good.  Not all of them were friends either so I would hope that their assessment would be less biased because they don't know me personally.  Oh well, there's always next time.  Hopefully by then I'll have a few more complete stories to choose from.

I want to thank everyone who was there for No*Con.  It is great to be a part of something so fun and meaningful.  You guys rock!  I love you all.

Horror Scope

Having just finished reading horror author Brian Keene's keynote speech he gave at Anthocon last weekend (which can be read here: http://www.briankeene.com/?p=9691), I am now inspired to trace my own personal journey through horror. Perhaps some of you have shared a similar journey. Perhaps not. But this is MY horror roots as I remember it. Of course, my memory is shit so I'm sure I'll leave out significant parts.

I guess I should start with how the love of horror was instilled in me to begin with. It can all be traced back to my mother. When I was at a very young, impressionable age she allowed me to watch movies such as Halloween, Poltergeist, Children Of The Corn, Jaws, et cetera on TV. Now, keep in mind this was in the '80s and we had, I think, about 3 television stations to choose from. We didn't get cable until my senior year of high school. So of course she let me watch them because they were edited for broadcast television. No nudity, no naughty language, minimum violence and gore. It was also around this time that she told me how she saw the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre in the theater. Basically she said it was scary as shit and vile. Well now, I just HAD to see the film after that little chat. So one day it came on tv. I was FLOORED. I sat in awe and watched it from beginning to end. It is still my favorite horror film to this day. Yes, there are horror films which have been made since that are better and much creepier but it will always hold a special place in my heart.

Now, another area my mom really influenced me in is reading. She was always a voracious reader and she instilled that trait in me by always encouraging me to read. She wasn't really a horror fiction reader. But since I already had a love of horror films it was a natural progression for me to gravitate toward the genre. One day, while at the local mall, we paid a visit to the book store and I went to the horror section intent on picking something fun to read. Well friends, the book I chose was none other than Robert R. McCammon's STINGER. That's all it took. I devoured that damn book. From that moment on I was off and running. I started blowing through Stephen King and Dean Koontz. Coincidently, the following Christmas my cousin bought me Robert R. McCammon's SWAN SONG. As some of you may know, this is still, to this day, my all-time favorite novel. I try to read it once a year. I used to commonly refer to it as my "bible". Needless to say, I raced through McCammon's catalog as well. A little later I discovered Poe and fell in love. And Ray Bradbury. Then...H.P. Lovecraft. That totally changed the game for me. And yes, I have read Robert Bloch. Yay for me!

These were the authors who took up the majority of my teenage years. Then, in my 20s, I discovered Richard Laymon. Because I purchased a few of his books from Amazon.com, that ever so clever website recommended a little book called THE RISING by none other than Brian Keene. I read that and it's sequel CITY OF THE DEAD. By the way, unlike most people, I was quite satisfied with the ending to THE RISING. Though I hear Keene loves when people ask him about said ending. Seriously, ask him. Repeatedly. To this day THE CONQUEROR WORMS is my favorite of his novels. Obviously for the Lovecraftian feel of it.

Through the wonders of the internet I was able to keep up with what Keene had going on and had the opportunity to meet him in person at one of his signings. It was a blast. That was also the first time I met Mike "Reel Splatter" Lombardo and Matt "Monrozombi" Blazi. At the second signing of his, I got a hotel room and got to hang at the bar with the above mentioned folks. This is also the first time I met Jeff "Bamfer" Heimbuch and the seeds for Drunken Tentacle Productions were planted.

Because of Keene I was introduced to many other authors: Edward Lee, J.F. Gonzalez, Wrath James White, Joe Lansdale, Bryan Smith, Ray Garton, Jack Ketchum John Skipp, and so many more. Hanging out in Brian's old office one day I became intrigued by a section of books on his bookshelf by a man named Carlton Mellick III. This was my introduction to Bizarro Fiction (I won't go into any more detail on this. See my blog entitled "Carlton Mellick III" for more info). Bizarro typically incorporates horrific elements.

These are just the high points of my career as a horror fan. There have been many other authors sprinkled in there through the years. I'm sure I left out a few that were influential to me. I'm still discovering authors, new and old. My tastes are ever expanding. Oh, and I still have an immense love of horror films. I am not nearly as critical or jaded as a lot of horror fans have become. There are some who were once die-hard horror fans who think that every new film that comes out is trash. I don't belong in that camp. There are many very good horror films still being made. Just as there are many great horror books being written.

Feel free to post some authors or films that you feel I may have never heard of or just omitted. It will help me out. Who knows, maybe you'll be responsible for me discovering my next new favorite author...

Lost Thoughts (aka The Lost Blog)

As some of you know, I'm notorious for not watching television. Oh, I watch movies constantly and I'll watch tv shows on dvd or Netflix. But as for keeping up with a show on a weekly basis? Hell no! I don't have the patience or the discipline to follow through with such a painstaking endeavor.

As some of you may also know, on May 23rd 2010 I went on a very special tirade about one particular show. The show in question is one that I absolutely refused to watch or take any interest in. When I heard how the series ended I mocked fans and friends alike for spending six years of their lives on a show that ended on a very trite, cliche note. Simply because, as many people who know me can testify, I sometimes rebel against things that are oppressively popular. As an example, you would be hard-pressed to find people who don't love the movie Forrest Gump. Meet the exception to that rule. From the moment I saw that film I despised it. But this blog isn't about Forrest Gump and I'm unwilling to waste any more of my time on that subject.

This blog is about the ABC Television series Lost.

Me being me, curiosity finally got the better of me. So over the past several months I watched the show in its entirety (it is available to stream from Netflix Instant Watch). I have to say, the first 2 seasons had me completely and utterly HOOKED. I won't go into plot details but I'm sure most of you know the gist; (a) plane crashes on mysterious island, (b) survivors desperately try to find a way off the island, (c) lots of weird shit happens. Seasons 3 and 4 were very good but not as stellar as the first two seasons. By season 5 my interest was starting to flag and by season six I just wanted to get the show over with and move on.

Don't get me wrong, it was still good. But the things I loved about the show in the beginning were missing. Lost had strayed so far from the things that originally hooked me and held my interest. It veered in such random ways. Obviously the writers were scrambling to stretch out the story line to keep filling up seasons worth of material. Personally I think the show should have been more concise and been maybe 3 seasons long. It would have been a much stronger show.

As for the ending? Did I hate it? No. Did I love it? No. It didn't end quite the same way people had explained it to me when it originally aired. It was definitely a better ending than that. It just seemed too...abrupt. After six VERY LONG seasons I was hoping for something more.

Overall, it was an enjoyable show. Does it deserve to be held in such high regard by legions of obsessive fans? No. Will I ever watch it again? Most likely not. I will say this though. After watching the finale last night, I awoke several times during the night and thought about it. That's something, I suppose. A show that resonates after the viewer has finished with it. That's the makings of good storytelling.

Babbling Bitch Session

I've been in my new home for about six months now. There have been a lot of changes in my life over that time period. I've had to learn how to clean, cook (still terribly unsuccessful at this one), micro-manage my money, etc. I've already been through one hellish roommate (I won't go into the sordid details of this fiasco since anyone who follows me on Twitter can see for themselves). Now I've got a potential second roommate lined up. I'm hoping she'll be better than the first one. If I were to play the odds, she most certainly has to be better than my previous one.

All of these changes, and others of a much more subtle nature. All of these changes...and yet, nothing feels different. I still feel as if I'm stuck in a rut. A dead-end job full of back-breaking manual labor that I will have to maintain until the day I literally drop dead, no real relationship prospects (that subject should be a whole blog unto itself), basically an almost completely sedentary life full of lonely nights in front of the television or computer.

I rarely go out. I work weekends when most others are out celebrating. My single day off is typically in the middle of the week. So, technically I could go out then but it would be by myself, as all my friends are in the midst of their normal work week.

And, speaking of friends, almost all of them live quite a distance away. So in order to visit them it requires planning ahead. I can't just visit them on a whim. The reverse is also true. This harkens back to my random work schedule. It's extremely hard to make plans ahead of time because I rarely know what my work schedule is going to be on a week to week basis.

Reading back through this blog, it seems as though my main problem, the thing holding me back from having an active social life, is my job. But I like my job. It's decent money. I like the people I work with (for the most part). I have medical benefits which is really important and something I'd like to hold onto.

And there you have it. My conundrum. The vicious cycle of my life. I'm done bitching. For now...

Carlton Mellick III

Today, kids, we're going to talk about the author who has changed my whole way of thinking in terms of how to write a story.

Carlton Mellick III is at the forefront of the Bizarro Fiction movement. For years he has written stories of the weird and, in my humble opinion, he continues to improve and mature as an author. I've devoured every single one of his books over the course of little more than a year. I have yet to find one that I didn't zip right through at breakneck speed. Many of them I've already revisited because they're just that goddamned good.

Let's pause for a minute so that I may explain exactly what Bizarro Fiction is.

Bizarro is "equivalent to the cult section at the video store". It is weirdness of plot as opposed to experimental fiction which is weirdness of style. Many Bizarro tales are written in a very simplistic style but the characters and situations are very weird. One can pick up on influences from filmmakers such as David Lynch and David Cronenberg. Bizarro Fiction often takes typical characters or situations and adds many absurd (often hilarious) elements to make it weird and original.

Mr. Mellick is also a very kind, approachable fellow. Through Twitter, Facebook, and Brian Keene's Forum, I've talked to him. If only to tell him I've read and enjoyed his latest releases. He's always gracious and humble when responding to my praise. I've also talked with fellow Bizarro authors Jeremy C. Shipp (who has recommended so many great movies) and Jordan Krall (who shares my love of H.P. Lovecraft and Spaghetti Westerns). All great guys.

I can't thank author and friend Brian Keene enough for introducing me to Mellick and Bizarro Fiction. Reading Bizarro has totally changed my personal taste in literature. I've found a nice little niche where I feel I belong. As if the stories were written for me.

Here's a list of books/novellas by Carlton Mellick III:

Satan Burger

Electric Jesus Corpse

Sunset With A Beard (Collection)

Razor Wire Pubic Hair

Teeth And Tongue Landscape

The Steel Breakfast Era

The Baby Jesus Butt Plug

Fishy-Fleshed

The Menstruating Mall

Ocean Of Lard (with Kevin L. Donihe)

Punk Land

Sex And Death In Television Town

Sea Of The Patchwork Cats

The Haunted Vagina

Cancer-Cute (Avant Punk Army Exclusive Collection)

War Slut

Sausagey Santa

Ugly Heaven, Beautiful Hell (with Jeffrey Thomas)

Adolf In Wonderland

Ultra Fuckers

Cybernetrix

The Egg Man

Apeshit

The Faggiest Vampire

The Cannibals Of Candyland

Warrior Wolf Women Of The Wasteland

The Kobold Wizard's Dildo Of Enlightenment +2

Zombies And Shit

Crab Town

The Morbidly Obese Ninja

Fantastic Orgy

Barbarian Beast Bitches Of The Badlands

I Knocked Up Satan's Daughter

Other notable Bizarro authors (in no particular order):

Gina Rinalli

Andre Duza

Jeremy C. Shipp

Jeff Burk

Jordan Krall

Cameron Pierce

Adam Pepper

Kevin L. Donihe

Anderson Prunty

John Edward Lawson

D. Harlan Wilson

Mykle Hansen

Andrew Goldfarb

Garrett Cook

I can't stress enough; if you're looking for something different, pick up some Carlton Mellick III books. If you like it, pick up some more. By this point you should be hooked. Then you can delve into some of these other fantastic authors I've listed above.

Uwe Boll-Cinematic Abortionist

Well, what can I say about Uwe Boll that hasn't already been said? He's a hack director of the highest (or lowest) caliber. An arrogant, self-involved ball of fury. His films, each and every one, are a grisly trainwreck not fit to be gazed upon by mortal eyes.

Oh wait, I guess I should backtrack a little bit and give you examples of some of Boll's films. Purely for those uninitiated. He's the master director/producer behind such masterworks of cinema as House Of The Dead, Alone In The Dark, Bloodrayne, Postal, In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, among others. The majority of his fare is based on video games. Of course, he pays no attention to the actual plot of the video games themselves and instead veers way off course to create his own "vision".

He's been called the modern-day Ed Wood (director of Plan 9 From Outer Space--which is widely considered the WORST film of all time) by many. I, for one, think this assessment is accurate. His films are a jumbled mess. Sloppily filmed and edited. And the acting...oh boy, I won't even get into that.

I was watching House Of The Dead the other night on FEARnet and it is a godawful film. But, having seen several of his other films, "House" is his greatest achievement. When placed next to his other films it is a masterpiece. But that still doesn't mean it is good by any means. Why, oh why, are there snippets of the ACTUAL VIDEO GAME intercut between scenes? I know he was intentionally going for over-the-top fun but he failed miserably.

Not only are his films bad, but he's also got an uber-cocky attitude. He has called Michael Bay and Eli Roth "fucking retards". He also claimed that his film Postal (also based on a video game) would beat Indiana Jones And The Crystal Skull at the box office. I kid you not, as I just typed that I couldn't help but laugh out loud. What a ridiculous statement.

If this isn't enough, Boll is a boxer. In 2006 he challenged critics to "put up or shut up". Then he held an actual boxing event entitled "Raging Boll". Invited to challenge him were Quentin Tarantino and Roger Avery, among many others. Now granted, out of the five boxing matches that were actually held, Boll did win all of them.

Maybe he should have persued a boxing career instead of film...

It's Curtains For You!

After a long day at work I had planned to come home and relax by immersing myself in the world of online gaming via XBOX LIVE. Not long before I was due to clock out, my mother called and reminded me that we had tentatively planned to go curtain shopping for my new digs. Okay, so video games are out. An afternoon of fighting mobs of rowdy teens, slow moving old people (zombies), and rent-a-cops who think they're the real deal because they have walkie-talkies was in.

Of course, my mom also failed to mention that she had to stop at Costco first. Now, I'm all for cheap bargains but that place is full to the brim with the lowest walks of life. I don't know which is worse; Costco or WalMart. At least WalMart isn't usually packed so tight with customers that you can barely move.

Once finished at Costco, we headed for the Christiana Mall in the adjacent parking lot. As we drove toward the sprawling consumer metropolis, I said to my mom, "You know you're taking me straight into the lion's den right?" There is a brand-spanking new Barnes & Noble inside the mall that has the ability to draw me in like gnats to a light bulb. To avert this, we went directly in the J.C. Penney entrance. After spending some time browsing through the plethora of curtains contained therein, I found some I liked and we went about making the purchase. Of course, they didn't have one of the colors I wanted so I had to order them. They won't be in for 2-4 weeks.

That done, we proceeded into the main part of the mall so I could look for a hat. I found an awesome Transformers hat at F.Y.E. of all places. Stinking Hot Topic only had crappy hats. I remember when they used to be cool. Sad that those days are long gone.

At this point we were both hungry so we paid a visit to the food court. While we were eating my mom kept pointing out females to me. One in particular was obviously in the advanced stages of pregnancy. Though I will admit that she was a very attractive young lady, I can't say I'm ready to jump into a relationship with someone in that predicament.

Somehow, I managed to convince her to let me go to Barnes & Noble. While there I was disappointed by their serious lack of horror fiction. Not to mention the fact that it's all lumped into the "Fiction & Literature" section. Making it harder to find the books I'm looking for. I did manage to pick up Triage (Jack Ketchum, Richard Laymon, Edward Lee) and Dweller (Jeff Strand). When I'd finished making my purchases, my mother said, "She was flirting with you." She, of course, was referring to the young lady who completed my transaction. I, who some of you already know, am completely oblivious to girls flirting techniques. So I cannot comment or speculate on whether or not she was indeed flirting with me.

So instead of coming home to relax after work I got to spend the afternoon being auctioned off like a pig at the fair by my mom. Sadly, no one was buying.

Don't Call It A Comeback...

Well, it's been far too long since I've last blogged. Don't really have any excuse other than I'm lazy and tend to lose focus easily. So, in an effort to "step my game up" as the young kids say, I've come up with a plan to help me blog on a more frequent basis.

The plan is this: I will post AT LEAST one blog per week from now on. For every blog I post, I will reward myself with one blu ray, cd, or book. No blog, no reward. This will also help me to cut down on my spending on the above-mentioned items. One item per blog. As opposed to the amount that I typically buy which is a much more extravagant number.

This blog does not count toward my new plan. I feel that that would be a cheat to do so since this entry is merely explaining my intentions. So I'm going to give it a shot. Hopefully the rewards I've set for myself will be sufficient to entice me to post on a much more regular basis.

There will be another blog later today in which I explain my shopping excursion with my mother today. Until then, in the immortal words of Corp. Dwayne Hicks (Michael Biehn in ALIENS), "Stay frosty."

Sexame Street

Okay, I have no mind-blowing things to say today. So I leave you with this:

Unnecessary Censorship: Sesame Street - watch more funny videos

Jesus Police

Those who know me are well aware of my all-consuming, burning hatred for organized religion. This does not mean that I am an Atheist. I would consider myself to be Agnostic. I do believe that we're more than just a cosmic fluke. I just think that no one religion is right in their belief system. How could anyone possibly know for sure. Until one is proven, without any doubt to be 100% correct, I will continue to doubt. Religious organizations creep me right the fuck out. Seriously. I have never associated myself with any particular religion. Nor will I ever do so. To me it's just silly. I get so pissed when religious "recruiters" approach me trying to force their personal belief system upon me. I used to collect those CRAZY little pamphlets those nutjobs hand out on the street. I would flip through them and just shake my head and laugh. But sometimes, just sometimes, I would be genuinely frightened by their utterly insane beliefs. And I don't say this lightly. I would see certain propaganda that filled me with a sense of doom for the human race. Scary, scary shit. I wish I still had them but, alas, I threw them out a few years ago.

A friend recently told me a story about his girlfriend that I'd like to share with you all. This is a nice little example of the fear-mongering these religious groups utilize to oppress their followers.

This particular friend's girlfriend is a practicing Catholic. Now, if you know anything about religion, it is currently Lent, which runs from Ash Wednesday to Easter. The season of no meat on Fridays (except fish and/or poultry depending on how lax a person's church is). Are you starting to notice the inconsistencies and hypocracy of the various religions? It is also the season of sacrificing something you enjoy. For example: meat, beer, cigarettes, etc. Now, in this girl's case, she gave up chocolate for Lent. Okay, that's not crazy. Seems doable. A small, acceptable token of one's belief in their particular deity of choice. Hang with me folks, I'm getting to the point.

So this girl stops to get a sandwich and coffee while driving to a relative's house. However, she doesn't get just any coffee. Oh no, she gets CHOCOLATE coffee. Astute readers will recall that she has given up this guilty pleasure for Lent. She gets back in her vehicle and heads out on the road. Before long, she notices a cop following her, lights flashing. The cop gives her a warning for doing 36mph in a 25mph zone. A warning. No citation. She immediately texts her boyfriend with, "God is punishing me." He calls her back and she tells him the story. She was convinced that God was mad at her for having chocolate after she'd given it up for Lent. So He apparently sent her a warning. I guess next time she'll (gasp!) get a speeding ticket. Just seems so silly to me. Why should anyone be afraid to eat chocolate?

The previous example is just a small sample of the many rules and regulations religions use to...well, I don't really know why they do it. I don't think they know either. I guess it's just to maintain control over their subjects. I know a few other guys who utilized this technique. Do the names Charles Manson, David Koresh, and Jim Jones ring a bell? Granted these are extreme cases but they still held sway over their believers and controlled them without question. Sounds awfully similar to what ALL religions do.

I'm a firm believer in freedom of religion. If it works for you, fine. If it brings you peace and stability in an otherwise chaotic world, more power to you. Just keep it away from me. I don't try to convince people that my beliefs (or lack thereof) are the right path. I may discuss it with them but 9 times out of 10 the religious types will get all pissy and judgmental. So apparently I'm a heathen. I'm a sinner. I'm an infidel. Satan has a nice hot seat waiting for me in Hell. Well folks, I'll believe it when I see it.

Late Night Musings

The title of this particular blog is "Late Night Musings". Currently the time is 9:45pm on a Friday night. Some would say the night is young. For most folks, this would be a true statement. I, however, have to work early Saturday morning. Such is the nature of my current employment. Working in retail, no matter what branch, is tough on the ol' social life.

I can't really complain too much though. My job allows me to pay my newly acquired mortgage and puts food on the table (mostly of the microwaved variety unless my roommate cooks...or my mother sends me some leftovers). And I'm also able to purchase the occasional movie, book, cd, etc. to keep myself entertained.

However, my job doesn't leave much time for social interaction due to the sporadic, random work schedule I'm forced to endure. Because of this, here I sit on a Friday night blogging, Facebook and Twitter being my only means of socializing. So when I do have opportunities to interact with actual live human beings (and not the virtual kind) I cherish those times. Many times I come across as not enjoying myself. But I'm generally a quiet individual unless I know the people who I find myself surrounded by. Or unless copious amounts of alcohol are involved, in which case "Social Mike" makes his appearance.

I spend most of my free time alone, watching movies. Which is fine with me most of the time. But I do get lonely on occasion. I've been in my new home for just over two months now and, to date, only two of my friends have paid me a visit. Granted my birthday/housewarming party was cancelled due to two feet of snow but still. This is unacceptable. Of course, it's not really my friends' fault. It's just that they have normal work schedules and mine is all over the place. So they rarely coincide and enable us to get together.

Well, it is now 10pm on Friday night. It's time for me to retire for the night.

Hopes And Dreams...Sometimes Met, Sometimes Crushed

So on Tuesday two films I was eagerly anticipating were released on home video. The first, Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever, was a MAJOR letdown. The second, Black Dynamite, was even better than I expected.

Let's start with the bad (Cabin Fever 2) and end with the good (BlackDynamite):

I love the first Cabin Fever and I'm proud to admit it. Eli Roth competently directed this first effort with style and cinematic know-how. It had everything genre fans love; gore, tits, an original idea, etc. That being said, I was really looking forward to the sequel. I should have gone with my gut and realized that without Roth's name anywhere on the project it was doomed to failure. But I ignored this red flag and purchased this cinematic abortion the day it was released.

There's not much to like about this film at all. The plot is very disjointed, silly and contrived. The characters are all shitbags who elicit no sympathy. Be warned: we're led to believe from the trailer and various write-ups that the majority of the action takes place at a senior prom. This is very misleading. The prom outbreak scene is very brief and not entertaining. If you want to see a real prom which erupts into chaos rent Carrie, a classic of the genre. This flick goes for cheap gross-out gore, which is fine with me if it's engaging and makes sense in the context of the film. Not if it's done purely to shock.

If I were to equate Cabin Fever 2 with any other flick it would have to be the Feast sequels. I loved the first Feast but the sequels were just a series of gross-outs and mean-spirited humor. I won't spoil any of the plot details for those who don't like spoilers (like myself) because I want you all to see this film and form your own opinion.

Now, on to Black Dynamite:

This film is a throwback to '70s blaxploitation flicks (i.e. Black Caesar, Shaft, etc.). It is a satirical interpretation of these films which today are looked at as silly but entertaining. At the time they were made though, the filmmakers took them very seriously. Unfortunately, most of those filmmakers were very green at the time so the films were poorly acted, shot, edited, etc. Black Dynamite pays homage to all of this. Also, look for some great cameos!

Michael Jai White wrote and starred in this brilliant and hilarious film. He kicks ass as the title character. He gets to utilize his extensive martial arts training in many well choreographed fight scenes. This film holds true to its grindhouse roots. It very well could have been the headlining feature in a sequel to Tarantino and Rodreguez's Grindhouse (which I also loved). I guarantee this film will attain cult status with the passing of time. It is worth a view so check it out. Grab some friends and a six-pack of your favorite poison, kick back, and be prepared to enjoy a fun flick.

Blogging (An Introduction)

So, thanks to Skip Novak (known in some circles as Wolfnoma), I've been inspired to start blogging. This is a new venture for me. I've never blogged before. Wow, something about the word "blog" sounds perverted, especially when used as a verb. Example: "I spent all day thinking about blogging." Dirty.

Okay, so here's how my blog is going to work. Some days you'll get rants and raves. Some days you'll get reviews of movies, books, and music. Some days you'll get incoherent gibberish. Some days you'll get nothing. Some days you'll get news from the filmmaking front (right now there's not much to report). Some days you'll get musings on life and other such subjects. Actually, I'm sure it'll mostly turn to gibberish every time I blog since I have an acute lack of focus. Don't fret though, even in the midst of my mindless ramblings I promise there will be some gold nuggets (covered in piles of poop nuggets). See, rambling.

Anyway, I doubt I'll get real up close and personal in this blog. I've learned my lesson by getting too personal on other social networks. It's never a good idea to flaunt one's dirty laundry for all to see. No good can come of this. I will, however, post lots of personal opinions on highly volatile subject matter. I will offend some. I will INFURIATE some. Others will agree with my insane beliefs and morals.

So feel free to read this blog. Or don't. Tell your friends. Or don't. My goal is to come up with a blog so monumental, so EPIC, that it will cause someone's head to explode in a Scanners-like shower of gore and flecks of brain matter. So, until this event happens, you're all stuck with my insanity.

To be continued...