Saturday, April 10, 2010

It's Curtains For You!

After a long day at work I had planned to come home and relax by immersing myself in the world of online gaming via XBOX LIVE. Not long before I was due to clock out, my mother called and reminded me that we had tentatively planned to go curtain shopping for my new digs. Okay, so video games are out. An afternoon of fighting mobs of rowdy teens, slow moving old people (zombies), and rent-a-cops who think they're the real deal because they have walkie-talkies was in.

Of course, my mom also failed to mention that she had to stop at Costco first. Now, I'm all for cheap bargains but that place is full to the brim with the lowest walks of life. I don't know which is worse; Costco or WalMart. At least WalMart isn't usually packed so tight with customers that you can barely move.

Once finished at Costco, we headed for the Christiana Mall in the adjacent parking lot. As we drove toward the sprawling consumer metropolis, I said to my mom, "You know you're taking me straight into the lion's den right?" There is a brand-spanking new Barnes & Noble inside the mall that has the ability to draw me in like gnats to a light bulb. To avert this, we went directly in the J.C. Penney entrance. After spending some time browsing through the plethora of curtains contained therein, I found some I liked and we went about making the purchase. Of course, they didn't have one of the colors I wanted so I had to order them. They won't be in for 2-4 weeks.

That done, we proceeded into the main part of the mall so I could look for a hat. I found an awesome Transformers hat at F.Y.E. of all places. Stinking Hot Topic only had crappy hats. I remember when they used to be cool. Sad that those days are long gone.

At this point we were both hungry so we paid a visit to the food court. While we were eating my mom kept pointing out females to me. One in particular was obviously in the advanced stages of pregnancy. Though I will admit that she was a very attractive young lady, I can't say I'm ready to jump into a relationship with someone in that predicament.

Somehow, I managed to convince her to let me go to Barnes & Noble. While there I was disappointed by their serious lack of horror fiction. Not to mention the fact that it's all lumped into the "Fiction & Literature" section. Making it harder to find the books I'm looking for. I did manage to pick up Triage (Jack Ketchum, Richard Laymon, Edward Lee) and Dweller (Jeff Strand). When I'd finished making my purchases, my mother said, "She was flirting with you." She, of course, was referring to the young lady who completed my transaction. I, who some of you already know, am completely oblivious to girls flirting techniques. So I cannot comment or speculate on whether or not she was indeed flirting with me.

So instead of coming home to relax after work I got to spend the afternoon being auctioned off like a pig at the fair by my mom. Sadly, no one was buying.


  1. Omg I went to the christiana mall today too with my mom! That's crazy .. and she likes to look at one thing at a time for what seems like a century before she moves onto the next thing haha ... I still can't believe u went curtain shopping with ur mom lol i thought I was reading a middle aged women's blog for a sec lol

  2. Oh, girls love it when you buy copies of DWELLER. She was flirting big-time. If you'd made your move, she would've been yours!

    (Thanks for buying it!)

  3. He needed curtains...who else was gonna help?

  4. instead of the horror section, you need to maybe spend some time in the "how to pick up girls in B&N" sections :)