Thursday, June 10, 2010

Babbling Bitch Session

I've been in my new home for about six months now. There have been a lot of changes in my life over that time period. I've had to learn how to clean, cook (still terribly unsuccessful at this one), micro-manage my money, etc. I've already been through one hellish roommate (I won't go into the sordid details of this fiasco since anyone who follows me on Twitter can see for themselves). Now I've got a potential second roommate lined up. I'm hoping she'll be better than the first one. If I were to play the odds, she most certainly has to be better than my previous one.
All of these changes, and others of a much more subtle nature. All of these changes...and yet, nothing feels different. I still feel as if I'm stuck in a rut. A dead-end job full of back-breaking manual labor that I will have to maintain until the day I literally drop dead, no real relationship prospects (that subject should be a whole blog unto itself), basically an almost completely sedentary life full of lonely nights in front of the television or computer.

I rarely go out. I work weekends when most others are out celebrating. My single day off is typically in the middle of the week. So, technically I could go out then but it would be by myself, as all my friends are in the midst of their normal work week.
And, speaking of friends, almost all of them live quite a distance away. So in order to visit them it requires planning ahead. I can't just visit them on a whim. The reverse is also true. This harkens back to my random work schedule. It's extremely hard to make plans ahead of time because I rarely know what my work schedule is going to be on a week to week basis.
Reading back through this blog, it seems as though my main problem, the thing holding me back from having an active social life, is my job. But I like my job. It's decent money. I like the people I work with (for the most part). I have medical benefits which is really important and something I'd like to hold onto.
And there you have it. My conundrum. The vicious cycle of my life. I'm done bitching. For now...


  1. I am very much in this rut lately. I work two jobs and have little to no social life. I have no medical insurance (which stresses me out so much that I honestly think my hair is falling out.) I have friends that I love and am grateful for but when I stop to think about it, many have them become more like close acquaintances than friends. And I have maybe a handful that actually share my interests, views, feelings, etc.

    Point is don't get too down--no one is immune to feeling shitty about their lives.

  2. Could I hear about this past roomate? I like stories, is why i ask. I can give you my email if you like.